Finding love
by Endles
Summary: With so many roads to walk it's easy to get lost. Red/Green   a lot one sided feelings and confusion. Red's path from a child to the end of one road.


**Finding love**

**.**

_**An innocent road**_

First time in Cerulean city is an experience to behold for anyone, and far enough to leave a wide-eyed ten year old boy speechless. Descending from Mt. Moon the city came to view after the forest and the lake like a dazzling toy-box of sorts with all the pretty buildings and bright colors and neon signs. Once in the city you would instantly be engulfed in the flow of smiling-laughing-polite-friendly people that never ended. Red felt so out of place that he'd never been that anxious before in his life, not even when Green had stopped playing with him and he'd been alone and sad and hadn't understood what was happening.

The Pikachu on his shoulder leaned just a bit closer, as if the tiny mouse was trying to merge with his head. He smiled very little at the thought and made his way to an empty bench on the roadside. Pikachu hopped down from his shoulder as soon as there was space and together they sat on the bench, taking a look at the map. He had passed the pokécenter somewhere along the way, but had gotten lost in the crowd and was now unsure about where to continue.

He was so much into it that he didn't notice the girl that first stopped to watch him and then walked over to the bench.

"Hey," she called out snapping him back to attention. "You're going to the gym, right?"

Red only blinked but besides him Pikachu nodded eagerly. The girl grinned.

"Thought so," she beamed winking to Pikachu. "I have a good eye for rookie gym challengers."

"I... see," Red slowly said.

"Yeah, but hey, you can follow me! I can show you the way to the gym!"

Red nodded this time. "Thank you," he said, not really knowing what he was supposed to say or do in this situation.

Luckily, she didn't seem to notice. "O-K, then let's go!" she beckoned him to follow and turned to lead the way.

The girl had short, bright orange hair on a high ponytail, as Red noticed, and she seemed to know her way through the town really well. She must've lived there. He, on the other hand, wasn't that sure where he was going and had to do his best to keep on her tracks. She was caring and glanced back occasionally to see if he was following and waited if he fell behind more than a few steps. And she kept on smiling. Soon enough, after some ten minutes of walking, they reached the gym building.

The girl turned to him in front of the building. "The Cerulean gym specializes in the water-type, so it's actually a huge swimming pool," she giggled. "The gym trainer is the best swimmer in the whole town. They say she looks just like a mermaid in the water."

Red looked impressed. "She must be strong too."

She giggled some more. "Well, yes."

They went inside and Red saw the whole hall really was one great pool. Apparently it was now pokémon swimming time, as it was filled with lots of Goldeens and Staryus and other water-type pokémon. But the gym leader was nowhere in sight.

He turned quizzically towards the girl who had taken off her dress and was now boasting simple black bikinis. She grinned and Red had to admit that even though he didn't know much about girls, this one was really pretty.

"And now, let me introduce you the gym leader Misty," she exclaimed striking a graceful pose. "That's me!"

Red smiled, just a bit. "I'm Red from Pallet town and I've come to win myself the Cascade badge. Will you accept my challenge?"

Misty laughed. "I'd never turn down such an eager young man."

So they had a battle and surely Red won. He had type advantage with his trusted Pikachu and anyways, he hadn't come that far only to lose to her. When Pikachu had taken out Starmie with spark and the battle was over Misty smiled. It was different from those smiles she had given her before, and it somehow left Red feeling... odd.

"Well, I lost," she said, not sounding disappointed at all. "I did my best so you deserve this badge."

She handed him the badge and he took it with a nod, hiding it into the secret pocket of his shirt.

"Say, Red was it?" She said casting her eyes down and curiously turning a bit pink on the cheeks. "Don't you think I'm cute?"

He blinked in surprise and it was as if his brain had shut down.

"I really like you, you're honest and not boasting yourself all over the place like every other guy I've met."

Red was suddenly reminded of Green and had to swallow.

"So," she crept a bit closer, until she was near enough to whisper in his ear. "Wouldn't you stay a bit longer?"

He swallowed again. No girl had ever liked him, not really. Leaf had always been nice to him, but she had other boys in her mind. His mother had told him that someday he would meet the right one and they would start a family and be happy, just like she and his father had been. But that seemed like such a distant thought and it still did. Misty of course didn't mean that, she maybe just wanted to be his girlfriend? He had heard about that. You went on dates and held hands and shared... kisses.

"Um..." he mumbled. Maybe he was blushing, but he hoped not. That was girly.

"You could work here at the gym with me, since you're a really good trainer! It doesn't matter that you don't use the right type."

That sounded possible. But he was touring the region and fighting gyms, could he really stop now when he'd just started? No, that wasn't the right question... He hadn't ever even really wanted to go on a journey. He was the son of a really great trainer, mum had always told him about father's achievements with a longing in her voice. He had been proud, but it hadn't seemed like the future for himself.

And still he'd been thrown out here, on an adventure. Professor Oak had given him his first pokémon, a handsome baby Charmander. And soon after he'd met Pikachu in Viridian forest and the mouse that had followed him had soon become his best friend. But what was he doing, really? He wasn't doing this because he wanted to become the strongest and greatest trainer in the region, no, that was—Green.

That was the answer. He was chasing after him, after Green and his lost friendship. If he continued he'd surely find it once more. He couldn't stop now.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I have to keep going."

She looked at him with round blue eyes and very quickly dipped forward to land a small kiss on his lips. This time he definitely blushed, he could feel the heat seeping on his cheeks. Misty laughed whole-heartedly.

"I get it, I get it..." she said. "But that's a small parting gift for you so you won't forget me."

He smiled and after a while thanked her for everything and the two said their goodbyes. Red left for Vermilion and when he met Green aboard of SS. Anne, he didn't regret what he'd done even though the boy laughed at him and teased him about Misty. It was worth it.

**.**

_**A comforting road**_

Victory Road was rocks and rocks and rocks and a lot more rocks, plus Golbats flying right next to your ear and sore feet and wishing for daylight after nearly a week in the dark. Red sighed as he sat on _a rock _and watched his companions eat their snacks in the grim light of his lantern and Charizard's tail flame. The guys were a bit big for the cave, Snorlax especially, but somehow he had managed to find a spot where he could let them all out of their pokéballs.

It had been a long road to here, he thought and Pikachu hopped on his knee, easily balancing himself and hopping again to his shoulder. He'd grown up a lot—you didn't simply walk around Kanto in a day. He had been turning eleven when he began, and now he was soon turning twelve. It felt like a lot more.

Suddenly there was a sound, footsteps far lighter than of those pokémons' that resided in the cave. A strangely familiar girl's voice sounded and echoed back from the walls.

"Hello? Is it you Red? I think I can see Charizard," the girl shouted and Red got up, pointing his lantern to the direction he thought she was in. Soon a brunette with a blue shirt and a red skirt appeared in his vision.

"I thought it was you," Leaf said with a perky smile, just like he remembered her. He hadn't seen the girl along his journey, except once or twice in a pokécenter. "I guess you're stuck here too."

"Not stuck," Red said immediately. He didn't want to think that he was stuck, because he wasn't, and even if he was, thinking about it would only make it worse.

"Okay, not stuck," she said and followed him to the rocks and sat down next to him. "I wonder how long I've been here..."

She rambled about all sorts of things; her travels and pokémon and how she hated Golbats and everything else that flew past her in the dark making her feel uncomfortable. She let out her Wigglytuff and her Venusaur, named Bud, and gave the pokémon some food. Red listened to her and realized it was nostalgic, somehow.

When he had been a small kid Green had been all there was for him, but when they grew older and Green became distant and mean and stopped talking to him if it didn't involve insults or any of the like, Leaf had been there. She had told him about Green and about things Red wanted to be doing with him, but couldn't so he had to settle for listening to her stories. She had seriously liked Green then, but maybe she had pitied him or whatever the reason, for she had decided to be Red's friend too. He was grateful for it.

"...and—hey! Are you even listening?" the girl snapped, not really angry but rather amused. He shook his head and Leaf laughed. "You admit it! You really are honest!"

An old memory came rushing back to Red's mind about a girl in Cerulean and a kiss, and how she had told him he was different from others. Honest, she'd said. Red was glad that the cave wasn't lit and the shadows swallowed the faint blush on his face.

"Y'know, I missed you," she started after a second. "You haven't changed all that much, you're still a good person. Every time I met you along the way, you listened to me and even did that almost smile of yours and I knew that you... still cared."

She was starting to shiver, but the smile never left her lips. Red tried to guess if she was holding back tears as she leaned against him.

"Green's so odd now. It's like he doesn't care about anyone..." Her voice broke, but Red heard clearly the words she left unsaid:_ 'he doesn't care for me.'_

He didn't sigh, though inside he longed to do so. Instead he carefully put his arm around her and waited for her to calm down. She did and soon smiled against his shoulder.

"I think I'm starting to like you a bit more," she confessed nothing like shy. Leaf was a brave girl, no matter where. "I wonder if that's possible."

Again, just like so long ago, he didn't know what to say. His thoughts turned to Green and back to Leaf and it was so confusing and he didn't know why it hurt, but it was painful. So he stopped thinking and remained silent, holding her there for the longest of times.

They got to the end of Victory road together. She cheered for him as he battled his way through the elite four. As he faced his rival after many battles and the boy looked so disappointed he wanted to tell him the she cheered for Green too. But the words were stuck in his throat because he couldn't lie to the boy he still wanted as his friend and yet he couldn't escape from the girls feeling either.

As Green's final pokémon fell to the ground, Red felt torn apart.

**.**

_**An overbearing road**_

Everyone sent him cards and weird stuff he was sure he'd never need. It was nothing but bothersome, sure he was proud and it was wonderful to see the smile on his mothers face when she returned home after a year. They held a party, and it was also his birthday party as well as his welcome back, plus congratulations on becoming the champion party. Everyone from the town was there, everyone except Green.

He spoke to professor Oak and the professor told him that the boy had left for Sevii islands. He said it was good for him, and that Green really needed to think about the way he viewed life and pokémon and people and he asked Red not to worry about the boy. How could he not worry? He felt like he had shattered his life and it was so weird, since he understood that it had been Green who had been mean to him.

But life went on and for a year he heard nothing about the boy.

He engulfed himself in studies and mostly lived in the Indigo Plateau, as he really was the champion and had duties to uphold. He liked being at the league, Lorelei was a big sister type, caring and nice and lovely. Bruno kept to himself, but Red trusted him and he got the feeling that the man trusted him, and it was more than he could've hoped for. Agatha was the best of them. She was like a grandma to him, since he'd never met his real grandmother. He watched her get older and become more forgetful with worry and fondness, but was proud to see she still hadn't lost her touch to battling.

Then there was Lance, the dragon tamer. He was from Johto, Red soon came to know, and, as he knew from experience, strong. He was far stronger than any regular trainer and all of the trainers who tried the league during his time there were stopped by Lance.

And still, Red felt unnerved by him. It wasn't like the man was mean to him, quite the contrary. He had seemed to come and appreciate the young champion very much. He was always doing his best to make Red comfortable. Maybe that was exactly why he failed at it.

When Red was thirteen and three weeks old Green came back. He looked different—older, taller and wiser, nothing like he'd looked when he left. He came straight to the league and marched into Red's room, effectively avoiding Lance who usually stopped people trying to him, whatever the reason.

"Yo," the teen said. Red looked up from his paper and blinked. "I'm back."

It was unnecessary to say it when Red could clearly see he was back, but it wasn't as light of a statement as that. He was back, really back this time, back to be his friend. Red couldn't speak—he understood now that he couldn't speak whenever he didn't want the moment to break. And he couldn't much speak anytime else either, because he'd learned with Green that too much speaking would get him to trouble.

"You're probably busy with all this champion shit, but I just..." Green shrugged and maybe looked embarrassed. "I dunno? Wanted to see you, talk to you. I owe you, don't I?"

Yes, Green owed him a lot, like his words and his childhood and the friendship he'd lost, and yet he found himself unable to say it. He was lost in the moment.

"I know..." the boy muttered, as if he could read his thoughts. Maybe he could, no… actually Red was sure he could. "Well anyway... I'm gonna take the post as Viridian's gym leader. I'm cool with it, it takes a lot to become the best gym leader and I can promise you that I won't let many trainers pass to you." He grinned and looked Red in the eyes. Something inside the young champion melted.

"Sounds good," Red said and the almost-there-smile ghosted on his lips. He knew Green saw it.

"Yeah," he agreed. "But I'm gonna go now, I still gotta drop by Leaf. Come visit sometime, and I'll visit you, deal?"

Red's heart skipped a beat, but he didn't know why. "Deal."

With a grin and a wave the boy was out and right after him came the dragon tamer barging in. Lance looked a mix between annoyed and worried. Red was not sure, which of them was the greater emotion in the man's mind.

"He was Professor Oak's grandson, right? The guy who managed to become the champion right before you. What did he want?" Lance asked stilling himself in front of his desk. Pikachu, who had been sleeping on the desk was startled and ran over to Red, hiding in his lap.

"He's my..." Red began, but the word was caught in his throat. Could he say it? He swallowed. "I know him."

The red head looked unimpressed. "Interesting... wasn't he the one who refused to accept his defeat, until professor Oak came by?"

Red would've flinched if he was any lesser man—boy. Lance's tone was poisonous, he knew the man hadn't liked Green, nor how he'd acted in the scene, but wasn't this too much? Green was just a kid, or at least had been back then.

When the boy remained silent, Lance continued. "Do you want to know what I think?"

Red looked at him, silently urging him to go on.

"I'm telling you this, because I think you've got experience and knowledge far beyond your years. I don't want such talent to go to waste, if you get caught up in... an unfavourable relationship."

The dragon tamer coughed. He gave the champion a meaningful look, trying to search his way inside through Red's eyes. Red felt uncomfortable.

"That boy isn't on your level. He's, well honestly said, dangerous for you. It would be wise for you to stop talking to him."

'_After I've just got him back?'_ Red wanted to scream.

"You can..." the man seemed to fidget. "You can count on me. Rely on me. I will be there for you in his place."

The man looked yearning and Red felt like he was about to break. He wanted to run away but at the same time he couldn't go anywhere. Why was the older trainer doing this, why was everyone doing this? He wasn't way more mature than the rest of kids his age, he was a kid and he wanted to be a kid. He wasn't honest—he just didn't tell anyone anything. Nobody around him saw the scared little boy inside, they all wanted to have a piece of him, thinking they knew him, but they didn't.

And Lance... he could never look the man in the eyes again.

"I'll think about it," he said and his voice didn't quiver. He looked away and the man before him nodded and left, leaving him in a room that had suddenly become so small he was suffocating.

**.**

_**A light road **_

Two months later Red stood outside in all black clothes and the rain poured down on them, mercilessly. Someone said, it was like heaven was crying, but it was such a cliché in the situation that it made Red cringe on the inside. It was Agatha's funeral. The old lady herself had said two days previously that her time was near. Red hadn't wanted to believe, but he still had. That's why he wasn't surprised and didn't cry. Pikachu was very still on his shoulder—the little mouse had liked her too.

Red really had adored Agatha. After all, she had been the only person who truly made him feel at ease and at home in the indigo plateau's league. She had been there to protect him from the world of adults, all grandmotherly and loving. Red felt like he'd lost a piece of himself along with her.

Green was at the funeral. He'd come with his grandfather. After the ceremony the gym leader walked to where he was standing, alone under a black umbrella, staring at Agatha's grave from a distance.

"Hey," the hazel haired boy said. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Those were the correct words for the situation, but they fit badly in Green's mouth. It was almost funny, really, but Red didn't feel like thinking about anything fun. He glanced at his friend-or-whatever and noticed the small, fluffy creature perched on top of his head, like a white and brown hat with ears.

"Eevee?" he said nonchalantly, turning back to gaze at the grave.

"Yeah, she's my new girl. Found her abandoned, some bastard had left her there with a broken paw. Nursed her back to health and now she won't even leave my sight."

Green sounded proud while telling the story, proud in a new way—not crude at all, but happy. Red was glad, in some mysterious way.

"That's nice," he said feeling a bit better like he was being cured from his sorrow by Green's words. "How's the gym then?"

"Just splendid... I've done some renovating on my free time, since I don't get many challengers. It looks really cool already. You should come and see for yourself."

Red didn't say anything, but smiled a bit sadly.

"But yeah, even with that I got loads of time to spare, so I've been travelling around. Daisy's nagging 'bout it to me, saying that I shouldn't leave the gym like that, in case there might be some 'poor trainer' who'll have to wait while I'm away. Whatever, right, I'm sure nobody's in that much of a hurry to the Victory road that they can't spend a few days in Viridian." Green took a few steps so he was standing right by his side. "What about you?"

"Fine," Red said without thinking. What else could he have said? _'I'm so lost I can't even find myself, the only person that kept me safe just died and the impulsive, at times scary man, who works with me seems to hold some odd affection towards me... I'm just peachy, don't you worry.'_

"No actually," he corrected before he could stop it. "I don't know."

For that one second of weird weakness he let it all show. All the confusion and pain and everything inside him, to which the boy next to him wasn't completely innocent... all of it was visible. Green looked at him with pained, regretful eyes.

"You should come," the gym leader said, and in a brave spontaneous whim pulled Red close to a tight embrace. He let go almost as fast as he'd pulled him in.

"Sorry," he muttered. "It's up to you, anyway."

After that he walked away and Red felt light, like he could just walk up to the sky and say hello to the clouds. It was a stupid thought, but he liked it.

What he didn't like, was the new lady who replaced Agatha in the elite four. Replace was a horrible word. Nobody could replace Agatha in his heart or take his place in people's minds. Karen was her name, the new trainer's. She was a woman in her twenties, beautiful, tall and quick witted. Her specialty was the dark-type—she told them that she liked their tough looks.

There was nothing wrong with her, she was perfectly alright. At least she was, when she wasn't talking to him.

"Oh, aren't you a cute little boy!" Had been the first words she said to Red. "How did you manage to become the champion, you must be very special... I just can tell that you're determined, I like that. You're definitely my favorite."

After that she proceeded to get into his company whenever she had the chance. She gave him sweets, and spoke to him about anything she liked, not caring that he obviously didn't want to listen. She openly flirted with him, Red realized, now that he knew what flirting was. He couldn't understand what it was with all the adults mistaking him as one.

The worst part was, when he one day found her in his room.

"Is this your friend?" She asked holding up a picture of Green Red had on his desk.

He'd gotten the picture from Leaf, after becoming a champion. The girl had left for Sevii islands, going after Green, and had apparently met him there too. She had sent him a letter, telling that he was staying on island one with some boy she'd met. Strangely enough she hadn't mentioned Green with one word in the letter, but in the envelope there had been the picture of the boy standing on a shore, looking off to the sunset. On the back Leaf had scribbled: _He's searching, I think._

Karen dropped the photo and smiled. "I like him. Does he come here often?"

That was the last drop to Red's cup before it overflowed. The champion marched to the table, grabbed the picture and his always packed bag from the table and left Pikachu running in his trail. He went straight to Lance and told him he was leaving, not giving the man any reasons even when he demanded them.

"You can be the champion," he stated coolly, and flew off on his Charizard, leaving the pokémon league behind him for good. He thought he wasn't going to return there ever again.

In Viridian city a first puzzled, then positively surprised and finally delighted Green opened the door for him. He saw the gym and it really was amazing. He greeted Eevee, whom Pikachu seemed to love to play with more than anyone. Green showed him his apartment and took him out for a dinner, and he was happy—truly happy, like he hadn't felt being for the longest time. Yet still, there was a nagging feeling in his mind that he couldn't escape.

He spent one month and four days in Viridian, living with Green and mostly staying in the apartment. Whenever he went out he got the feeling that there were eyes on his back, glaring at him, and that everyone knew him, everyone was there to tell him their ideas like he cared. He didn't like it, so he stayed away from people. Away from those who knew he was the champion. And then and there it started to feel like everything was because of just that, because he was a champion.

Green watched him with sad eyes, lines of worry appearing on his face gradually, until Red couldn't take it. When he said he was leaving, the other nodded.

"Take your time," he said, and so Red was gone.

**.**

_**A realizing road**_

The nights on the mountain were cold and lonely and he had far too much time for his thoughts. Maybe it was good. He had time to lick his wounds, which had appeared out of nowhere or maybe they had always been there but he'd covered them with bright yellow band-aids. He didn't know, but it was alright—he was lonely and, yes, he was cold but he didn't feel anxious. He almost felt calm and his mind was at peace. For the most of the time, at least.

Days passed, turning to weeks and then months and Red settled into a cozy pace. He found a sheltered cave with a narrow entrance but a wide cavern at the back, so that it was perfect for him to live in. He brought in rocks to use as tables and spread his belongings all over and the place began to feel like home. His pokémon liked the cave, and the harsh conditions outside made the mountain a great spot to train, interesting and challenging for all of them. Green—who was the only person who knew where he was— grumbled a lot about 'how he had deliberately picked the hardest possible location' and 'damn mountain', but still came to visit him regularly.

"I promised, didn't I?" he said, and kept bringing Red the supplies he needed to stay alive. Red was thankful enough to feel like crying. He always pulled his hat lower, so that the other boy couldn't see his eyes, which had begun to reveal his emotions far too often. No matter, Green could read him even like that—and maybe it was good that he wasn't holding all those feelings back so much anymore.

"Jeez, Red... You're such a girl." Green smiled and didn't really mean what he said. It was weird too, hearing his words as a joke and not as a malicious insult. Red smiled in reply, nothing holding the smile back like there before had been. They were both trying hard and their relationship was getting better—because of the visits or the time in between, Red couldn't tell. It was still something, and something was always better than nothing at all.

He had been there for a year and a half when he unexpectedly met someone else than Green or the nurse at the pokécenter he'd become accustomed to. He was visiting the pokécenter at the root of the mountain, like he did every month, when his road was blocked by a positively angry looking boy.

"Well I'm damn sorry for that!" The boy was standing with his back to Red and was yelling apparently into his pokégear. Green had told him about those devices, said that he could get Red one if he wanted. Red had declined. If he really, really wanted to contact someone he could use the phone in the pokécenter. So far, he hadn't felt the need to do so.

"I understand," the boy said somewhat calmer, but the voice sounded like it came through gritted teeth. Red stopped his walking when the boy—whose red hair that seemed to tick something in his memory, but he couldn't tell what it was—still hadn't noticed him. "Yeah. Right. I'll keep that in mind and I'll have _something _good to say at your funeral."

Red wondered who he was talking to. Someone he held a grudge against, possibly his... father? Red was sure there was something in this he recognized deep down, but it had been so long. It was something Green had told him _that_ he was sure of, but he couldn't remember.

"...I'm sorry," the boy muttered, quite out of the blue, since Red couldn't hear what the person on the other side of the line had said. "Yeah... yes. Whatever. I'll be going to Blackthorn soon, just passing by. Hmph, I don't care."

He snapped the pokégear shut and turned around, immediately startled by Red. His cheeks flushed and brows burrowed, and Red realized that he was the type who looked cute when angry and was always angry, even if he couldn't call a guy cute.

"What's your problem, sneaking behind people like that?" the boy barked.

"Nothing," Red said bluntly. "It's rare to see people here."

"Is that your excuse for eavesdropping?" The boy asked, sneering. "Tch, pretty weak..."

Red raised his eyebrows slightly. "No, I listened because I was interested. You seemed pretty upset at first. Who were you talking to?"

The boy was thrown off by his words, he could see it from the way his eyes widened and his breath hitched in his throat, causing a bad coughing fit. Pikachu on Red's shoulder tilted his head.

"You should come to the pokécenter to calm down."

"I'm fine!" the boy yelled. Red shrugged and walked closer, taking a hold of the boy's arm. He was far too thin.

"Hey! What the hell? Let go of me!" the boy wailed around, but Red had a firm grip of him and he was strong. He could easily drag the boy along and after some five minutes they reached the pokécenter.

"Oh, welcome Red!" the only nurse who lived there shouted from the other room as soon as they entered. Of course she knew it was him, nobody else beside him lived on the mountain, and other visitors were seldom. After ten seconds she emerged to the waiting hall and her face instantly went from friendly to surprised. "And who's this? Are you hurt?"

Before the boy could open his mouth to retort, Red let go of him and said: "He was lost so I brought him here." He took off his pokémon belt and offered it to the nurse changing the topic. "Here, please check everyone like usual."

The woman smiled and took the belt. "How about you, Pikachu?" she asked the mouse who had climbed down to the floor once they were inside. The electric-pokémon skittered past the nurse to the direction of the room he was already familiar with, and she followed, nodding politely to Red and the boy as she left them alone.

"Well..." the boy said. He didn't sound angry anymore, and neither did he look. He was much calmer now, inside the pokécenter. Red had been right in his thoughts, this boy was a trainer—well, maybe it was obvious, since it was a mostly restricted area except for selected trainers. But he had been right in knowing what made the boy calm.

Red walked to the couch in the room and sat down, and the boy came soon after. Red didn't say anything, he was waiting. If he was right—and he had realized in his time on the mountain that he usually was when it came to understanding people and pokémon—the boy would talk when he was ready. There was no need to push him

True enough, after a few minutes the boy opened his mouth.

"I was talking with my father," he said carefully, as if uncertain of his words. Then he hastily, defensively added: "If you're still so keen on knowing."

"I am," Red said simply. The boy coughed.

"He's not much of a dad… really, a bastard's what he is. He's never been there for me..." he trailed off and Red could see the cold anger burning in his gray eyes. It diminished as he opened his mouth again. "That's what I thought."

He was silent for a long while, and Red listened to the sounds carried from the examination room as he waited for the other to continue.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this," the boy bit out. "It's weak, and I'm not—"

"That's strength," Red cut through his words. "It takes more strength to open your mouth than it takes to hold it closed."

The boy looked at him with wonder. It was the first time he didn't look irritated or angry, but rather purely relieved. Like a stone had been taken of his chest. Though, he soon turned his gaze back to his hands.

"This mountain was his hiding place," he said, sounding more confident now. "Whenever he was in trouble he'd retreat here, leaving behind the people that needed him the most."

Red looked outside. The sun was shining. It was a rarely beautiful mid autumn day. There had been people before him to use this place as a safe haven and he could now completely understand why. Thinking about this he almost missed the boy's next words, because he suddenly lowered his voice to barely a whisper.

"I used to think that too, but I think I'm starting to see... It wasn't to keep him safe, but rather others." He breathed once out. "It's named after me, you know?"

Red didn't need to ask what, it was perfectly clear—the mountain. And the memory he had been trying to catch came rushing back, along with one other that now connected with it, forming a new, complete picture.

"_Hey, ya know... Leaf said that when he was on Sevii, he heard some rocket grunt say—since there was a base or something there—that Giovanni had a kid with red hair... You know that? I wonder if the brat's as friendly as his pa."_

And far before that, a man brushing past him in a fallen glory, whispering:_ "Silver will be so disappointed..."_

Red smiled.

"You're on the right road," he said to the red haired boy, patting him on the head. "Don't lose to yourself."

The nurse came back right after that smiling and babbling about how his pokémons were now in perfect health and some more about how it must be hard living up high with himself. Somewhere along their conversation the boy left without saying good bye, but it was fine. Red knew that Silver would be alright.

**.**

_**A waiting road**_

Two weeks after Silver, Red met two girls, this time near the peak of the mountain. The taller of the girls had blue-black hair on two spiky ponytails. Red wondered if it was because of the cold that they were spiky, maybe they had frozen that way. The other one had brown hair, worn in a similar style and a puffy white hat with a red ribbon on it. When Red walked over the girls were talking to each other in worried tones, and the Marill by the brunette's leg was looking rather cold.

"I'm tellin' ya, Kris," the smaller piped. "He's—Oh!"

The one apparently called Kris turned around to see what her friend was so shocked about and noticed Red. Then they both looked like they'd just won the lottery but weren't sure if it was a dream or not.

"Are you lost?" Red asked politely, since they just as well might've been. Pikachu hopped down and scurried over to the Marill, who seemed to forget feeling cold for the moment.

"Not exactly," the taller said and smiled sheepishly. "We were looking—no, waiting for someone, but it seems it'll take him some more time."

"You should return to the pokécenter, then. It'll get dark soon."

Kris opened her mouth to answer, but the brunette got first.

"Are _you_ Red?"

"Lyra!" Kris hissed.

"What, c'mon Kris... If we came this far, I wanna know if it's true and I'm not gonna miss my chance."

Red listened to them with growing interest.

"It's just—" Kris started, but stopped in the middle of her sentence. They both turned towards Red at the same time with mirrored expressions of curiosity.

"I'm Red," he said. The girls' eyes widened so much it looked comical. He would've laughed if—well, if he was the kind of person who laughed, or knew how to.

"Um... that's, you see..." Lyra muttered. "Wow."

Red tilted his head to the side.

"You're somewhat of a legend, you know," Kris explained. "Kanto's true champion, missing for almost two years. Everyone on the know is whispering about you. There are rumors, all kinds of things, but nobody really knows where you are... and we have this friend…"

"Yeah, Gold," Lyra butted in. "And he's all 'Red's at Mt. Silver' because he says that that's like where he would be, or something."

"And we came here to see for ourselves, and he was supposed to come too, but he says that he got stuck in Vermilion, but now you're there and... he was right," Kris finished.

They all fell silent, Red thinking about the things he'd just been told and the girls fidgeting and waiting for him to say something while throwing each other meaningful glances. Then the champion smiled.

"Gold, was it?" He asked, scooping down to pick up his little yellow friend. "I'll be waiting."

The girls both nodded and Red turned to leave. He knew they could manage alone, and besides—he had to get ready.

When Green visited him a few days after, he told the gym leader about the odd meeting.

"You'll come home, won't you?" Green asked. "If he beats you?"

Red didn't answer—he couldn't say yet.

"Right," Green mumbled. "I could say that I won't get my hopes up, but that would be a lie. So instead I'll say that I'll wait with you."

What Green was hoping for and what he himself was hoping for... what the home Green spoke of was... These were the questions he had tried to answer that still remained as problems unsolved. But he felt like he was close—closer than he'd ever been to finding the answers.

The next days he spent training so hard he forgot everything else. More than for the pokémon, the training was for him, and to keep look out for any visitors on the mountain. He wandered about on trails he hadn't much used, and watched the leaves slowly withering away on the ground since they'd long since fallen. The very peak was almost always covered in a slight snow, but where he had his cavern, first snow would fall any day now. He could practically smell the winter.

Outside in the breeze he smiled to himself and Charizard blew a great flame to the starless night sky. He would climb to the peak tomorrow, to watch the snow fall. And if asked how he knew, he couldn't answer, but he knew it:

_He_ was coming too.

**.**

_**A final road**_

The blizzard started in an instant after he saw the figure approaching from the cave. He had been right. This was the one he'd been waiting for. And then Red realized that he was just like Green. He had gotten his hopes up too. It would be shattering to realize it had been false hope, but it was too late to change anything now. He'd have to cling to that hope like his life depended on it. And didn't it? Not literally, but in some way it would decide the direction of his days.

Black hair, red jacket and a yellow cap—that's all he could see from the distance. When he walked closer he could see that the boy was young, so young, but still somehow wiser than he had been at that age. Wiser than he was now. On some level Red understood that his mind was making up this story, but it didn't matter, because if it was true to him, it didn't matter what was true to others.

"Hey," the boy shouted. There was only five meters between them, but the wind was blowing cold and snow to their faces and it was hard to hear and hard to see. "Red ,right? I wanna challenge you."

The voice was nice: strong, determined and somehow it reminded him of Green's. It had the same curiously tantalizing undertone, but was lot more freely happy. Red closed his eyes and nodded. The boy couldn't see it, but he was sure he could understand his agreement. Pikachu's cheeks were sparking with fervor as Red let his friend down, and the mouse charged into battle.

It lasted so long that the snowing subsided and sun began to peek through the clouds. And Red called out one exhausted pokémon after another, sending out another of his friends, all strong and proud but all surrendering before the young challenger's companions. When it had only just started Red had known it would be a good battle, no matter the outcome. When he finally called back his trusted Charizard whom he'd saved for the last, he smiled so much that he hadn't thought himself capable of such. He smiled so much he thought he could burst with the odd peace and happiness that was trying to flow out of his body when it didn't all fit in.

Whatever Red had hoped for, it didn't matter. He could see himself and he could see the road he had chosen long ago, so clear that it almost hurt to look at. It was weird, all in all, because this boy, Gold, had nothing to do with it—just seeing his golden eyes and the look of victory and surety in them after the battle, had been enough.

"It's over," he muttered to no one, or to Pikachu or the wind. The boy behind him couldn't hear it that much was sure. "No... It's begun."

After that he turned and walked over to Gold who had finished praising all of his pokémon for working so hard, and called them back to their balls, since they were all so exhausted that travelling on Mt. Silver would've been a bit too much for them.

"It's weird," the younger said. "Huh... this is what it feels like."

"How do you feel?" Red asked.

The boy laughed, a clear sound, like a stream. "Nothing! I feel nothing at all! But at the same content and different and not different... do you get it?"

"No," Red said honestly. "I haven't ever felt that."

Gold's face looked blank, but his eyes shone with understanding. He smiled apologetically. "That's..."

"Don't say anything." Red silenced him. "It's time to let go."

Gold nodded. "Yeah, me too... even if I've now reached this point, I can't stand still. I've got to keep moving forward, towards the things I haven't yet reached."

Red smiled—the kid was unbelievable.

"What?" Gold asked puzzled. "What are you laughing about?"

"Am I?" Red countered with his own question. Then he answered it himself in his mind: I guess I am. It was his way of laughing, and Gold could see it straight away, even though he couldn't see it himself. How right the boy was, in everything. There was still so much for him to learn. Things about himself and about…

"You're so much wiser than I was," he said placing his hand on Gold's shoulder. The boy looked up to him. "Let's go."

In his mind he thought that he would spend just this one more night on the mountain that had been his shelter for such a long time, before leaving on a new journey. Maybe he needed the company. Maybe he couldn't bear to be alone in the night with such a thought.

"Yeah," Gold said grinning. "Let's go."

The cavern was for once filled with warmth and laughter and in his memories Red always wanted to remember it like it had been on that last night. They talked about all kinds of things, anything that came to mind. He listened to Gold telling his story, telling about his home and his friends and meeting his pokémon. The tired pokémon rested and the fire they'd lit burned merrily. He drank the last of the special blend tea Green had brought for him maybe for Christmas or New Year or something other. It was odd how everything had changed but in reality nothing had changed except the way he saw it.

Gold seemed to understand him better than most people he'd met. Almost as well as Green understood him and almost as well as he understood Green, even though he couldn't understand Green and he knew that the boy—no, maybe he was a man now—couldn't really understand him either. It was a different understanding to how Gold understood him, more special.

Thinking about it made his heart flutter, and now he could understand that too.

Into the late night, Gold suddenly became quiet and he silently rose up and wandered to the cavern's mouth. Red followed after and stopped besides the younger, staring to the infinite starlit sky.

"I have a... friend," Gold began uncertainly. "Who has the same name as this mountain."

Red hummed to show he was listening and the boy went on.

"I don't if we're friends. It's difficult, I can't explain it..."

"Try," Red prompted.

Gold sighed. "He's precious to me, and I know that he can't hate me. I've seen him change, and I think that maybe he has changed me too just as much. I feel like I know him like I know myself, but I can't understand his actions or words," he swallowed. "I don't know what I should do."

"Try," Red repeated and Gold looked up. "You should always keep reaching for him. Don't stop, you said yourself that you have to keep going. It's easy to lose sight of what's ahead of you, but it's hard to grasp it."

This was ridiculous, he was the one giving advice to the boy who'd saved him—life was full of mysteries.

"When you do catch him, don't let go. That's the end of one road."

Red pulled the boy into at first an awkward hug that soon melted into comforting. Against his hair he whispered:

"And possibly, if all goes well, the start of another: a shared one."

He held the boy and thought, that there was the final road for him too, to walk before he had reached his destination.

**.**

_**A roads end and a newborn trail**_

Descending from the mountain he said good bye to Gold, but it was easy, knowing they would meet again. The road to Viridian was covered in leaves and down from the mountain it was much warmer—though it was late in November, to him it felt like spring after an endless winter.

He stopped by at the league. Indigo Plateau hadn't changed but the people inside had. He was greeted by Lance who didn't seem so strange, not so threatening anymore—still, he couldn't face the man's eyes. Karen was there, just as friendly and flirty as he remembered, but no there was nothing wrong with her actions. Bruno was the same but Lorelei had left. There was a man named Will who greeted him with extra special politeness.

Lance asked if he had met Gold and he told him.

"I was beaten," he said and smiled. "It's better this way."

He left soon after, wishing them all the best and promising Karen that he'd visit her sometime and bring over the cute friend he'd never told her about. He was on high spirits as he walked down the road and Pikachu skipped alongside him. Soon he could see the city's skyline and there he stopped for a moment to admire the view.

His destination was right there, somewhere in the city.

He walked the streets and he felt free of the stares he'd always felt on his back when he last was here. He saw the people's smiles and politeness instead of the doubt and hate he'd seen then. It hadn't changed, the city was the same, but he was a new person.

Green was at his gym. When he walked inside, a trainer he dimly remembered working there greeted him and guessed that he was looking for the leader. The guy led him to the back of the gym, pointing at a door.

"He's inside, probably doing nothing," he said and smirked, going his way.

Red walked inside without knocking. Green dropped his coffee cup.

"Wha—" the hazel haired man asked perfectly dumbfounded.

"I'm visiting," Red replied.

Then they were crushing to each other so hard, desperate lips on lips, hands around waist and neck pulling the other closer and closer even when they couldn't get any closer and it felt like they would merge together. The force of the impact hit Red minutes after and he collapsed against Green, the man somehow managing to support them both with his own wobbly feet.

"Oh dear lord..." Green moaned, out of breath and sounding like even he himself couldn't comprehend how happy he was. "You finally figured it out."

"I did," Red whispered to Green's neck, hot breath tickling and sending shivers down the man's spine. "I really did."

"Wow," he said with nothing better to say. After a while: "We should go somewhere else."

Red laughed in his way, the laugh showing in his eyes and a smile on his lips and Green's breath hitched in his throat.

"You're laughing," he said and his voice was for once very small. His eyes glistened. "God, Red, you're so beautiful."

And Red couldn't say anything, but he wiped the tear from Green's eye and held his face in his hands, staring inside those green eyes. The man was taller than him, not by much but still a little. He wouldn't rise on his tiptoes like in a girly romance movie, but he would pull the man down for very slow kiss.

After that he sighed in a slightly shaky voice, drawing in Green's scent. The moment was like a small eternity, and after it he smiled once more.

"_I'm home."_

**.**

**End**

**A/N:** This started of a simple prompt in the kink meme, but it kept transforming while I wrote, until it was this monster about bullying, using other people and the pain of growing up. I hope I managed to get some of my conscious or subconscious ideas across, please feel free to ask any questions.


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